Photo Courtesy of Cyber Advocate

Trump Gets Much-Needed Help in White House; Inner-Circle Staffers Rattled by New “Friend”

White House staffers are securing themselves in their private offices as they attempt to avoid interacting with President Donald Trump. Recently, Trump was found in the Oval Office, busying himself with his newest acquisition — a gift from former WH Advisor, Steve Bannon. It’s become one of the president’s favorite toys with which to amuse himself as he spends hours on the phone, speaking with lawyers, family members and the 3 world leaders who will still take his calls.

“I really like this method of decision-making,” the president told an aide. “With this baby, I can get the answers I need and avoid dealing with Jared and Chief-of-Staff Kelly.”

After another in a series of endlessly-bad weeks, Trump has decided to put his faith in this spinner. By utilizing it throughout the day, Trump has successfully managed to avoid confrontations with aides, delay decisions until later on in the week/month/year, and is keeping conversations to a minimum, something which the ADD-addled president has struggled with since becoming president.

Photo courtesy of Bey-Burke Spinner Decision Maker Paperweight

Chief-of-Staff John Kelly has been concerned ever since he first noticed the president playing with this Bey-Burke Spinner Decision Maker Paperweight— a gift from Sean Spicer the week he vacated his position as WH Press Secretary.

Kelly was overheard telling Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee-Sanders, “He keeps spinning that damned thing and talking to himself well into the afternoon. He’s missing appointments, ignoring my suggestions and so distracted that no one can carry on a conversation with him. We’ve got to find something else to distract him!”

It is believed that Huckabee-Sanders was the person who first approached Bannon with the suggestion for the new spinner. Repeated calls to Bannon’s office have not been returned.

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