Trump Fires NWS Leadership Over Alabamagate; Hurricane Threat Now at Level Orange

“We cannot have incompetent people operating at the highest levels of authority in times like these.” President Donald J. Trump

In a stunning move early this morning, President Donald Trump fired top officials at the National Weather Service for challenging his belief that Hurricane Dorian was scheduled to slam Alabama. Officials were surprised at their sudden dismissal but not totally shocked that President Trump would ask them to leave their posts at such a crucial time.

Larry Simkis, Acting NWS Commander, was asked what the mood was at the Bethesda, Maryland headquarters post dismissal. “Our people expected nothing less than a bombastic hissy fit from the president when they pushed back hard on him yesterday, and we weren’t surprised that several people in our Bethesda office were dismissed this morning.”

Several employees from NWS headquarters were seen picketing outside of the White House this afternoon. “We’re operating in shifts, so as not to disrupt the ongoing hurricane management at the NWS headquarters,” said Marilyn Warner, a secretary to one of the dismissed officials. “We understand that this president is incapacitated in ways rarely seen in the annals of presidential history. We are committed to keeping the spotlight on this Assclown 24/7!”

Many alluded to the president’s lack of mental fitness and his ability to lead the country. “People are angry! We cannot continue down the path of incoherence, gross stupidity and asinine commentary that this president insists on shoving down America’s throats every hour of every day,” said picketer George Santos. “It’s bad enough he is incapable of telling the truth; worse that no one in his Cabinet will intervene to put the brakes on the carnage piling up at every turn. Hell, Ikea has a better cabinet than Trump does! This administration stinks from the head/down, like day-old fish left out in the sun to rot!”

Others voiced their dissatisfaction with the president’s inability to own his mistakes and his inability to tell the truth. “At some point in time, you’d think this guy would GTFU, but it seems as though he’s managed to circumvent rationality and common sense as he bolts headlong into the path of gross ineptitude,” said a man who appeared to be in drag, with a southern drawl and who looked suspiciously like Senator Lindsey Graham of South Carolina.

As the crowd in front of the White House expanded, those willing to vent their frustrations at the president grew louder and more vocal. Chants of “You suck at golf,” “Trump is the baby that needs to be caged,” “So much wrong; such little hands,” and “You can’t fix stupid but you can vote it out” were heard as the crowd swelled to well over a thousand protesters.

The best signs carried by picketers were all over the geopolitical map:

“Vagina: Maybe I’m born with it; Maybe it’s NONE of your business, Asshole!”

“If no mentally disturbed person should have a gun, then no mentally disturbed president should command an army,”

“Women ARE the wall in 2020 and Trump Will pay!” and the one sign that was universally applauded:

Your tan is fake; the news isn’t!”

Humorist, political junkie, activist, resister

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