Insider Sneak Peek of D-list Celebrities Believed to be on Guest List for Trump’s First State Dinner to Honor Kim Jong-un

President Trump is pushing for a meeting with Kim Jong-un to be held in DC. Here’s a sneak peek of D-list celebrities believed to be on the guest list for Trump’s first White House State Dinner…

White House staff and party planners are giddy over the prospect of planning their first State Dinner, ostensibly for Kim Jong-un’s arrival, if President Trump can clear the way for Jong-un to come to the WH for a meeting between the two world leaders in May.

Potential D-Lister celebrities who may receive invitations to the state dinner at the White House will likely be Scott Baio, Stacey Dash, Caitlyn Jenner, Mike Tyson and Lindsay Lohan (although pending arrest warrants for these potential attendees may significantly impact no-shows for this group).

Herewith, a smattering of the potential attendees for the event:

In an effort to appeal to Jong-un and win him over, Trump has asked Dennis Rodman to step-in for Mike Pence as Acting VP, so that Jong-un will feel more comfortable around people he knows, trusts, and can relate to.

Stacey Dash, provided the swelling and bruising from her upcoming Town Hall meeting entitled, Straight Outta Compton with Stacey Dash (where she is campaigning to represent the heavily African-American district in Congress) is reduced significantly enough for her to look human.

Conspiracy theorist, Alex Jones, will be seated at HUD Secretary Ben Carson’s table in an attempt to determine if Carson is operating on full power or whether he’s due for upgraded fuse implantations in his skull. Carson, in turn, will be doing the same for Jones.

Stormy Daniels will be invited to the dinner but she will not be seated at the head table with Trump and Jong-un. She’ll assume her position in the back of the room, at the other head table, near the men’s bathroom exit.

A long-time GOP supporter, Gene Simmons will be seated at Stormy Daniels’ table. No surprise there…

In an attempt to demonstrate inclusion for all, Trump will likely invite Caitlyn Jenner to the bash. She’ll be relegated to the back of the room, no doubt, to keep a proper distance from Rodman.

Gary Busey. While some say the serious 1988 motorcycle crash affected his rationale, Trump was direct in his always effusive praise for Busey. “He’s a great guy. Sit him next to Caitlyn Jenner. What could possibly go wrong, there?”

Mike Tyson. Like a stray hound at the junkyard, Tyson is giving away his allegiance to anyone who’ll acknowledge him; enter Trump.

Lindsay Lohan. Given her familiarity with foreign nations (where she takes up occasional residence in an attempt to stay out of jail in the US) Lohan will surely provide levity along with her special touch of insanity and outrageousness to the soirée.

Having Charlie Sheen attend should take the heat off of any faux pas committed by attendees at the dinner. Trump is working on a signaling system for Sheen in the event that things get out-of-hand, whereby Sheen will erupt into one of his outlandish tirades and take the focus off the person or persons in jeopardy of being ejected for bad behavior, lewd behavior or drunken behavior — said persons likely to be Rodman, Lohan or Tyson

Ann Coulter. Party planners are struggling to find a place for Loose Cannon Coulter. She’ll likely be seated alongside Charlie Sheen/Lindsay Lohan/Mike Tyson at the FUBAR table.

The OG reality TV star, Tila Tequila skyrocketed to infamy during 2013 when she penned an article on her website on why she sympathized with Adolf Hitler. In an attempt to deflect the backlash directed toward her, she came out in 2016 with something even more outrageous: supporting Trump and urging others to support him as well. She’ll likely be seated up front.

Trump will begrudgingly invite Sarah Palin to the dinner. “Sit this one close to the back of the room. If it’s one thing I cannot tolerate, it’s sycophants and interlopers,” Trump was overheard saying when reviewing the potential seating chart. Event planners will seat her at Stormy Daniels’ table because nothing says Bitchfight like two nutballs clamoring for Gene Simmons’ attention.

Chris Christie will serve as a roving buffet for the event, moving from table to table and lingering long enough to allow guests to graze from the assortment of hors d’ oeuvres covering his shirt, pants, and tuxedo jacket.

And finally…

Entertainment will be hard to come by, as it was for the Inaugural parties in 2017 when all of the A, B, and C-listers backed out of performing for the Trump Inauguration: enter Ted Nugent. Nuff said.

I appreciate and read all comments. Clap if you enjoyed reading this!

I welcome all suggestions for additional D-listers to be invited to this dinner. I’ll pass along your suggestions to my sources at the WH ;-)

Humorist, political junkie, activist, resister