2 min readSep 17, 2023


I am so very sorry for your loss; this was hard to read.

People are in our lives for a season or a reason. You must not take on the mantle of blame or self-flagellation for Troy's unraveling. He had his journey in life; you had yours.

The thing about people unraveling before our eyes and throughout our lives is we can only help them so much, based on how much they want actually want our help. Some are happy (awkward choice of words, I know) living in their pain because trying to climb out of it is all too overwhelming and difficult for them to grasp. It's easier for them to stay where they are than to fight the long, hard fight to free themselves from their own torture chambers.

You were there for him throughout his life, doing as best you could while trying to move forward in your own life. He was NOT your responsibility. He was NOT your obligation to look after and try to make right all that he chose or didn't choose for himself.

Take yourself off the cross and be assured you were there when he allowed you to be and you stood your ground and stayed your distance when self-preservation warranted it.

You were there in the end to send him off. The hearing is the last thing to go on one's deathbed, so he knew you were there. Thank you for being there for him when you could and in the best way you knew how. In the end, that is all we are responsible to others to do: Just being there WAS ENOUGH.

Blessings to you.