Good for you, Shannon. Losing a parent who is abusive leaves little room for sympathy or sadness; it’s a relief and many have trouble believing that — unless they’ve been victimized by a parent.
I know that pain and I know that feeling of extreme relief when it’s finally over. I still find myself in disbelief that I never attended my mother’s funeral last year and that I didn’t see her for the last two years of her life. I’m more in disbelief that I finally had the courage to stand up for myself and take ownership of my life and my well-being in a way that excluded my mother from my life.
Be true to yourself and make sure your daughter lives free from the kind of guilt-tripping, demeaning and horrific accusations; the slings and arrows that burrow deep into the heart when delivered by a parent.
In this way you defeat him, take back your power and rear a child who is loved, encouraged and cared for in a way that you were not.