Satire
20 Washington Insiders’ Reaction To Don-The-Con Running In 2024
Undaunted, the Scion of Stupidity Soldiers On
NOTE: Donald Trump referred to these people by the names shown in parentheses when he was president.
Former President (Cheatin’) Barack Obama: “Here’s a guy who threatened Joe Biden with assault; thought the President of China, Ji Xing Ping, had a great gig as president for life, and actually said, ‘It’s freezing and snowing in New York, that’s why we need global warming,’ and you wonder if I’m concerned about the 2024 election?”
Sen. (Cryin’) Chuck Schumer: “Sure, I’d take him back; back to the womb!”
President (Sleepy, Creepy) Joe Biden: “You bet; bring it on! I remember when I was young, back when we lived in Scranton, and my Dad lost his job…”
Mike (Pounce) Pence: “Are you sure about that? Mother and I were talking at breakfast this morning and no one in her church circle has mentioned it. He can’t run! I need to be rewarded for refusing to negate the election results on January 6th. I need to be respected by this country. I need people to see me as the leader I imagine myself to be. I desperately need a beating heart, a viable brain and a ball sac to take me over the finish line.”